all i want in life is a pretty dress

all i want in life is a pretty dress, for as long as i can remember all i've wanted is to be able to wear a great dress. i'm talking giant poofy victorian style dresses, like they wore in like the 16th century (for example) { i've been watching a lot of the tudors} to bounce around in yards and yards of the most beautiful fabric you could imagine, with the corsets cause while apparently they hurt and are hard on the breathing and the ribs, they make you look super skinny and your bosom ample {which i appreciate}. it's like impossible to look bad in a dress like that.

i

i know it's not proper spelling or grammar or whatever, but i like using lower case i's instead. i just think it looks better. { plus i like the dot ! }

i wish i was more creative

i wish i was more creative, i have this strong desire to paint and sculpt to take photographs to write to express my self but i can't. it never looks right or feels right my friend brooke told me once that she was sure i was creative that i was inside me i just had to find it, and at the time i thought it was really sweet, but i was never sure if it was true. i wonder what it means... i have all these ideas, i see the art in my mind, the painting or the photograph or whatever but these fleeting, passing visions never come to fruition. it's frustrating. sometimes i wanna write, i want to commit to paper the elaborate stories i come across in the back of my mind as i watch t.v. or day dream, but i never do. i think it's partly fear, but what do i know.

daydreamer

you know how some people are called "dreamers" well i think of my self as a "daydreamer" and an avid one at that. it's one of my favorite past times, i can be who i wanna be, have everything i want or secretly desire to happen happen its amazing. i frequently drift off into my own world where people who i love are still alive, friends that are no longer in my life are with me, people i want in my life but can't are with me and happy to be. i find that it's sort of like writing, directing, and staring in my own movies. i can be the heroine, i can be the damsel that needs saving, or i can be the villain ready to over throw the world. or my true wish a vampire [{side bar}]  i wanna make one thing clear i was obsessed with vamps long before the twilight craze, i happen to love twilight but i have had this obsession since jr. high. if i could i would live only in my dreams forever because there even when its bad its good!

instrumental music

i'm not sure why but in the last year or so i have come to greatly love instrumental music, i experience greater emotion when i hear it, my imagination runs free... i can see my self dancing on a breeze gliding with grace, that there is no way i could actually posses. i see my "true love" (they're different every time) happily together or miserably separated by circumstance, this music takes me into a world of my own creation, helps me escape my hum drum existence and live, if only for a short time in a world of my making. where my dreams don't always come true, but i feel alive.