date? what's a date?

i've never had a real first date or a "date" in general, i mean i've gone to get drinks with people but i mean one of those you pick me up, i don't know where we are going, getting to know you convos, you drop me off, possibly awkward possibly awesome kiss at my front door yah know?
i feel like i missed out on like typical growing up things, i mean i spent my whole childhood watching television shows and movies about high school and i couldn't wait to go, i wanted to take home ec and i wanted to go to pep rallies and bonfires, dances in the school gym [sadie hawkins and what not] but that stuff just doesn't happen in nyc schools i mean we had dances but i can only remember 1 it was in the cafeteria and unless you had a boyfriend no one had dates. i want someone to plan something for m, i don't necessarily need our interaction to go beyond the date but just somebody to want to plan an evening would be nice.  someone take me on a date!!!!!!

gLeek

so unless you've been living under a rock you should know the fox show gLee it is amazing and i would love to live in a world like this, now let me clarify i would not like to be in high school again especially one where everybody hates me but i would be ecstatic if my world were a musical! now i can't sing to save my life, nor do i really wish to but i do have the urge to... on occasion break into  song to express my hurt, anger and sadness and even my happy moods. if life where a musical i'm pretty sure it would be one with an unhappy ending. but that's besides the point, the point is i have no idea what the point is. all i know is i wanna sing  songs that narrate my life, and i wanna have giant spontaneous choreographed dance numbers.

ducks and lady bugs.

if i were a bird i'd wanna be a duck, if i were a bug i'd wanna be a lady bug. so...random statement i know, but it is what it is, and i really like ducks. this whole thing came across because having lived in new york city all my life the only birds i'm used to seeing on a daily basis are pigeons and sparrows also on occasion a seagull or two and sometimes and i mean sometimes cause i've only actually seen about 5 or 6 of them, them being falcons/hawks (i can't tell the difference) so anyway now as you might know i live in florida and in florida there are birds aplenty! i must have seen like 20 or 30 different types of birds already, today i saw a crane as i was leaving work stalking a gecko across the mall parking lot. and side note there are like no pigeons in florida i have been here almost 6 months and have only seen 1 and not a single sparrow, another side note when i was little i was convinced that sparrows were pigeon babies, and no one could convince me otherwise. but back to ducks, so last week i was on my way to work and i came across a mama duck and her newly hatched ducklings, and boy am i a sucker for cute things so i almost missed my bus watching them and feeding them my breakfast, which in case anyone cares was a bag of 100 calorie white cheddar popcorn (awesome by the way) also taking way to many pictures on my phone, and then today on my way home from the gym i spotted a lone duckling in the parking lot of the mini mall up my street waddling into an alcove where the dumpster lives, so being who i am i followed it and found the mama and her rapidly growing babies hanging out. i don't know what it is about ducks they just give me this serene feeling, in new york when i was really feling shitty i used to go to whole foods and by a loaf of san franciscan sour dough bread ( i loooooove sour dough bread) and head over to the duck pond in central park, climb on to a rock right next to the water and split the loaf with the ducks, i could spend hours there just watching them glide through the water, forgetting for a short time whatever problems drove me to binge on the carbs in the first place. today i had no food for the babies so i went home got some bread (hamburger buns) and returned to feed them and now no judgements please name them. there are 12 altogether including mom and while i do not know the sex of the kids i named them anyway, mama's name is beatrice and the babies are a s follows
1) ronald 2) calliope 3) milton 4) tibby 5) bernard 6) laney 7) samson 8) delilah 9) maurice 10) poppy [ she's the only yellow one] and 11) thomson. i know this might seem crazy but... if i were a bird i'd wanna be a duck and if i were a bug i'd wanna be a lady bug, cause who could hate a lady bug?