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i have issues, i know most do and mine are no more important or problematic than anyone else but they are mine and therefore in my world the most daunting thing i can imagine or think of and i think of them constantly. one of them is i am worried i'm driving my friends away because i can't deal with my issues so i whine to them about it and i know that they are sick of listening to me, i'm sick of listening to me so why wouldn't they be. i brood and dwell and it's frustrating and i can't even go into the real deep issue that fuels all the other ones because i'm afraid. i'm afraid to tell them how it really is afraid the will leave me that they'll turn away and i couldn't handle that. this past year i lost two friends who i thought would be there forever because they couldn't handle me, i have three left who i depend on and if they left...well it wouldn't be good. i have no one that i am truly honest with for fear what that honesty will bring about. not family or friends and even though i know i'm not alone i feel like it and...